September | 2013 | Serannwil99's Blog

This morning I woke up to the thought that I need to leave. I need to leave FBC and a definite need to leave Clinton. I really don’t feel comfortable any more anywhere in this town. My anxiety/panic/depressive issues just will not allow me to have a normal life here.I really don’t feel comfortable with my church family. I walked away from a job I loved yes it was hard, but I am now way more miserable than I ever was doing that job. I am not one to make attention for myself and yesterday proved to me that I don’t want attention. I wish people would just forget I was ever a part of staff at FBC. I wish for right now people would leave me alone. I am very uncomfortable with any part of this life right now. I hope my FBC family that reads this will just allow me space and time. I just don’t want or need ant attention at this point. I know you all care, but I just can’t deal right now.There is just too much guilt, too much hurt and too many emotional issues. Private prayers are appreciated, but for now that is really all I want. I hope you all know this really has nothing specifically to do with any one person it has more to do with just random crap that going on. At this point I think my last event with the FBC peeps is going to be the ladies Iron sharpens Iron conference. Not too sure about attending that the last conference or event I went to I came back totally messed up.Love just need for people to leave me alone for a while.

You know it has been sometime since I have written. Some of that is I have written just felt I better not share with the whole world. This is one that I am probably going to do that same questioning, but these days people are just totally irking me.

The other day I just chose to not share something with someone then something got said or texted and I just blew. Shared what I wasn’t going to and then when they responded back I bluntly texted back are you going to help on those Wednesday evenings, are you going to bring your grandkids? No response. I then apologized for the reaction, but now looking back on it not really sorry. If you are going to complain about something you are not involved in then don’t do it to the one in charge or you may just be asked to take over.

Then that leads to todays issue of learning just how many of our own church people send their kids to other programs youth and even younger kids to other churches on nights our programs are meeting, but then they complain when we have nothing. You know if you and your kids are happier at some other church then go don’t sit the fence because then feelings and lively hoods get put on the line.

One other major pet peeve of mine is parents who sit in church and yet let their middle or high school aged students to run amuck in the church. They are old enough they need to be sitting in church not out having coffee hour. Sorry if you don’t like it, but when you are only there for social hour you are not getting out of the service. You aren’t at church for social hour you could do that somewhere else the purpose of being at church to have an experience with Jesus.

So there it is. Laid on line, if you read this on Facebook and unfriend me so be it, if you are offended maybe God is talking to you.

Until next time.